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How to be prepared for the next time you hear or see something you think is hateful.

It can be scary to stand up to hate.

Knowing specific actions you can take will help you feel prepared and empowered to UP End Hate.

Upstander actions

What is an UPstander?

An Upstander is a person who speaks up and steps in to stop someone from being hurt. The seven UPstander actions below are all possible steps you can take to UP End Hate.

Balance:
Say something positive about a person or group when you hear hateful things about them.

Example:

"That girl who only speaks Spanish is dumb. She should really learn to speak our language."

Response:

"Hey, that’s not cool. She’s learning English just like you’re learning French. I like that I can practice my Spanish with her and learn more about her."

Tips:

This works well if you hear something about a person or group who isn’t present. You don’t have to confront the person, just casually offer an alternative view and then change the subject.

Support:
Show up for someone after they have experienced hate.

Example:

You hear someone call your coworker a racial slur as they’re leaving the store.

Response:

Ask your co-worker if they’re ok after that exchange. See if they need to take a few minutes to calm down or if they want to talk. Tell them you’ll report the incident to your manager.

Tips:

You can and should support someone after verbal or physical harm. Be true to yourself and focus on the person who needs support.

Reason:
Help someone think about why their actions are hurtful and what other choices are available to them.

Example:

Your friend says, “I can’t stand Asian people. I’m going to hit the next Asian person I see in the hallway.”

Response:

“Hey, if you start a fight, you’re just going to get yourself suspended. Do you really want that on your record?”

Tips:

You can use this strategy if you hear hateful comments or if someone you know is talking about physically harming another person. You are not trying to change anyone’s mind. You just want to encourage critical thinking about consequences.

Distract:
Change the subject and interrupt hate as it's happening.

Example:

You overhear two classmates loudly discussing their dislike for Jewish people as you wait for class to begin.

Response:

Turn around and ask the two students if they had a chance to finish the assigned reading. Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself or ask a follow up question.

Tips:

Distracting is a great way to keep words from hurting other people. You don’t need to address the underlying hateful ideas, you just need to change the subject and keep the conversation from getting worse.

Direct:
Tell the person acting hateful that their words and behavior are not ok.

Example:

Someone you know posts a video on TikTok making fun of Black people and using racial slurs.

Response:

You message them, “None of us like to be called names. You might think what you said about Black people was funny, but it’s a bad look. I don’t think other people will laugh at this. You should take the video down.”

Tips:

Directing leans on the power of relationships. If you know the person, start by saying something to show them that you are on the same team before telling them to stop or change their behavior. This will make it easier for them to listen to you.

Listen:
Take time to really understand what someone is saying. Practice noticing and responding to another person's feelings and show your interest in the conversation.

Example:

Your friend, who is gay, says, “I overheard someone in class say that they’re weirded out by gay people.”

Response:

“Wow, that must have hurt to hear. How did you respond?” [pause to listen] “What can I do to support you?”

Tips:

Active listening is a great way to give people an opportunity to express their emotions before they turn into something more dangerous. Focus on the person, not on sharing your own feelings. If someone expresses a desire to hurt other people, tell a trusted adult.

Seek Help:
You might see or hear something that you feel is too important to keep to yourself or address on your own. When in doubt, tell a trusted adult.

Example:

You see someone you know post a TikTok with a semi-automatic weapon. They say, “This is my plan to deal with all the people who bully me.”

Response:

Share this post immediately with a trusted adult like a parent or teacher. If you feel like an adult isn’t listening to you, go to another adult. If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Tips:

Getting help is not snitching on someone. You are not sharing what you know to get someone in trouble but to keep people safe. If you’re worried someone may come after you for sharing, you can ask the trusted adult you tell to keep your identity a secret.

If you take action, great! If it doesn’t work, you can always exit. Here are some tips for leaving the situation, whether in person or online.

If someone tries to argue with you

You can say:

“I’m just sharing my experience. You can believe what you want.”

If someone seems upset with you

You can say:

“Hey, we’re still cool. I just don’t agree with you.”

If someone doesn't want help or support

You can say:

“I understand. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need anything.”

If someone gets aggressive or starts yelling

Put your hands in a “stop” position (chest height, palms open and facing away from you) and say,

“Hey, I’m just trying to help. I’ll see you later.” If something similar is happening online, simply stop responding.

If you feel like your safety is at risk

Leave the situation immediately

And find a trusted adult to help.

Don’t force a conversation. If someone doesn’t want to talk about their thoughts or feelings, you can say, “Ok, if you ever want to talk, I’m here to listen,” and walk away.

Source: Safe School Ambassadors Program High School Student Guidebook

Important Things to Remember

You don't have to change someone's mind to interrupt their behavior.

Seeing hate can be upsetting, but you risk making the situation worse if you try to argue with someone. Practice the above steps and tell an adult if you’re concerned.

You don't have to handle hate alone.

If you aren’t sure what to do, you can always talk to a parent, teacher, coach, or professional.

Someone who is planning violence will often show signs.

If you hear or see something that doesn’t seem normal, pay attention. If someone tells you about their plans for violence, believe them, and tell an adult immediately.

If you're worried about violence, tell someone.

These strategies can help you address bullying and hateful speech, but you don’t need to stand up to hate alone. If you think someone is going to become violent, the best thing you can do is tell a trusted adult. If you’re worried about immediate danger, call 911.

How you respond to hate should never put you at risk.

These actions are useful in many different scenarios, but your own safety should always come first. Revisit the PREMO acronym to help you determine if you feel safe acting.

This project was initially funded by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security's Center for Prevention Programs and Partnerships, opportunity number DHS-23-TTP-132-00-01.

Eradicate Hate Global Summit
500 Grant Street, Suite 4500
Pittsburgh, PA 15219-2514
info@eradicatehatesummit.org

Take Action

How to be prepared for the next time you hear or see something you think is hateful.

It can be scary to stand up to hate.

Upstander actions

What is an UPstander?

Balance:Say something positive about a person or group when you hear hateful things about them.

Support:Show up for someone after they have experienced hate.

Reason:Help someone think about why their actions are hurtful and what other choices are available to them.

Distract:Change the subject and interrupt hate as it's happening.

Direct:Tell the person acting hateful that their words and behavior are not ok.

Listen:Take time to really understand what someone is saying. Practice noticing and responding to another person's feelings and show your interest in the conversation.

Seek Help:You might see or hear something that you feel is too important to keep to yourself or address on your own. When in doubt, tell a trusted adult.

If someone tries to argue with you

You can say:

If someone seems upset with you

You can say:

If someone doesn't want help or support

You can say:

If someone gets aggressive or starts yelling

Put your hands in a “stop” position (chest height, palms open and facing away from you) and say,

If you feel like your safety is at risk

Leave the situation immediately

Important Things to Remember

You don't have to change someone's mind to interrupt their behavior.

You don't have to handle hate alone.

Someone who is planning violence will often show signs.

If you're worried about violence, tell someone.

How you respond to hate should never put you at risk.

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Balance:
Say something positive about a person or group when you hear hateful things about them.

Support:
Show up for someone after they have experienced hate.

Reason:
Help someone think about why their actions are hurtful and what other choices are available to them.

Distract:
Change the subject and interrupt hate as it's happening.

Direct:
Tell the person acting hateful that their words and behavior are not ok.

Listen:
Take time to really understand what someone is saying. Practice noticing and responding to another person's feelings and show your interest in the conversation.

Seek Help:
You might see or hear something that you feel is too important to keep to yourself or address on your own. When in doubt, tell a trusted adult.